Cotton-Eye Joe
by Cochise1936
Summary: I wrote this short story for a "September Song" challenge. We had to choose a song and write a story based on it.


As Sheriff Brody of Portersville looked out his office window, he nearly choked on his coffee at the sight of a horse and rider coming up on Main Street. The horse was a distinctive black and white pinto, and his rider was a very handsome young man in a green jacket, who appeared to be in his early twenties.  
"Oh Lordy, not another one!", he exclaimed.  
The new deputy, a man by the name of Mark Collins, hurried into the office. "Another one what, Sheriff?", he asked.  
"Looky thar, Mark. Comin' down the road, do ya see him?"

The deputy looked unconcerned. "It's just a fellar passin' through. What's so bad about that?"  
"You weren't here the last time, boy, so you don't know", he said with a shiver.  
"Know what?"  
"That whenever one o' those handsome-like guys comes inta this town, all hell breaks loose!"  
Mark was puzzled. "Now why would ya say that, Sheriff?"  
The sheriff turned impatient eyes on his ignorant colleague. "B'cuz! Haven't you ever wondered why thar ain't hardly any wimmen in this town!?"  
Collins thought for a moment, then said, "Come ta think of it, there ain't but five or six lady folk 'round here!"  
"Exactly! That's why we gotta run him outta town!"

Deputy Collins looked confused again. "What does the number of women have to do with that fella out there?" He cringed when Brody slammed his fist on the desk. "Ain't ya got a lick of sense in that thar head of yours? When those ladies git their eyes on him, no man will be good 'nough for 'em anymore! They'll leave cuz no man in this ol' town will ever amount to anythin' more than a down-on-their-luck cowboy! Ya unnerstand now?!"  
"Yes sir, I sure do", Collins said hurriedly. "When are we gonna run him outta here?"  
"Well, thar ain't no time like the present! Let's git to it afore the ladies start leavin'!" With that, Brody and Collins buckled their gun belts and made sure their badges were perfectly shined before leaving to hunt down the stranger.

Meanwhile at the saloon, Joe Cartwright was just settling into his beer when a blonde girl suddenly appeared at his elbow. "Well now, what have we got here?", she said flirtatiously. "Where'd you come from, stranger?"  
Putting down his beer, Joe introduced himself. "I'm afraid I'm not stayin', ma'am. Just passin' through." He tried to take another drink but the girl had crooked a finger to a brunette outside and she had come in as well. "Who's this, Cora?", she simpered.  
"Vera, this is Joe Cartwright", Cora answered. "He says he's just passin' on through here."  
"Ooh, how fine-looking you are, Joe! Why don't you stay around, huh?"  
This girls' chatter had attracted the attention of the remaining female population, and they clamored relentlessly for Joe's attention.

Sheriff Brody and his deputy heard the tittering voices inside the saloon, and knew they had located their target. They threw the batwing doors open with a flourish and strode over to Joe's table.  
Looking up at the sheriff's imposing figure, Joe gulped. He hadn't been in this town but twenty minutes and he was already in trouble. "Uh, hi there, Sheriff. Is there somethin' I can do for you?", he said shakily.  
"Thar sure is!", the sheriff boomed. "You can pay for your beer and git yer butt outta this town!"  
Joe was startled, he had no idea what he'd done wrong. "Sheriff, what did I-"  
"Ya came here, that's what! Now git!"

Joe stumbled out of his chair and tried to shake off the six girls who were hanging on his arms. "Uh, sorry ladies, looks like I gotta go!" He managed to loosen the last one and hurried out of the saloon, wondering what he did to upset the lawman so much.  
When he reached the stable where he left Cochise, he saddled her quickly and left a handful of coins on the owner's table. Joe then vaulted up onto the horse's back and urged her out of the stable, galloping down the road in the direction he came.

The handsome stranger gone and the angry women placated, Brody and Collins sat back in their wooden swivel chairs in the sheriff's office. Collins finally asked, "Sheriff? Why does it matter so much to ya if the girls leave?"  
The sheriff leaned back and filled his pipe. "Because, Mark. Ten years ago, I had me a girl. Purty thing she was, too. Then some good-lookin' fella come in here and steal her right out from under ma nose!", he said vehemently. "That ain't ever gonna happen to no man in this town ever again!"  
Deputy Collins just shook his head, wondering why on earth he accepted a job with such a crotchety old man.


End file.
